When She Said Sex

I continued walking across Intramuros past the proximity of my school whilst thinking of a way to write my research report on the benefits of sex as a matter-loading file for the Lyceum Debate Society. I stopped by this old lady selling candy to buy myself a raspberry-flavored one. Halls I think. And it has somehow vaguely reminded me that sex is somewhat relevant to candy. After all, some variants of contraceptives are flavored.

“Just what made me volunteer for this topic?” I whispered to myself as I drained the flavor from the candy. I tried not to imagine myself actually eating contraceptives. Besides, I may be green-minded (I can create and quickly understand green jokes) and read FHM on a regular basis but I’m in no way perverted and sex-obsessed. Would people be surprised if I told them I still am a virgin? I wouldn’t let anybody, not even my ex-boyfriend, touch me at those parts where they’ll be crossing the line. They do that and I’m gonna make sure they eat my fists. I’m not the type who easily gives in. To add to that, I’m not that believing in the power and pleasure of contraceptives.

Gross! Enough about that! Now I’m being haunted by this salacious video clip saved in a classmate’s cellphone. It showed Paris Hilton giving a B******.

Patience was lost upon simply melting the candy in my mouth. I started biting it to bits and swallowed it.

“Hey Jiea!” Someone called from behind. It was Tony.

He waved at me. I smiled and waved back. Tony is a nice friend of mine (read A-1o7 Pals under the October Archives). Perfect! Since he was one guy who is open-minded particularly on sex, he’s the guy I can ask about my research paper on sex! Alright! Heaven is being nice to me today.

“Tony! Tony!” I yelled out as I ran to him. “Look! I need your help and you’re probably the only guy I can ask about this without thinking I’m weird kid.”

“Ask me anything then! Maybe I really can help.” Tony replied casually as he took out a box of Marlboros, took a stick of cigar, lit it and started puffing. I looked at the red and white box of cigars with a sign of negativity on my face. I don’t smoke. Yet I ignored it and continued with my itinerary.

“Tony! What are the benefits of sex!?”

Tony immediately withdrew his cigar and gaped at me. “What the hell are you talking about!? And why are you asking ME of all people about that!?” He reacted in a half-scream. I sort of expected he’d react this way. I remained calm and continued interrogating him.

“Well, it’s because you’re a friend if mine and you’ve ‘been there’ so I thought that maybe you’re the only one I can ask! I mean c’mon! I’m not just gonna walk into a stranger and ask ‘Excuse me sir but have you already had sex? Would you be so kind to tell me its pleasures and benefits?’”

Tony’s expression suddenly changed from shocked to hilarity. Still he remained a faithful friend and answered my question wholeheartedly. “Well, while you go through it, it feels great. So great that once you’ve had it, you’ll keep asking for more.”

I was silent for a while… That sentence now gave me another reason why I should avoid sex: To avoid addiction.