Cry

"If you feel like crying, go on and cry. no one is stopping you. 'Coz if you just stop the tears from coming out, it'll only hurt more."
-Pops

Strange. For many nights now I find myself pouring a deluge of tears before falling asleep. I've been thinking of things. A LOT of things. And they're not as pretty as anyone thinks. Hell why would I be crying over such sunny and delightful things? Again, there is this pirouette of misfortunes that keep spinning and with me placed in the center. Most of the time they spin too fast that I can't take it anymore and just collapse hence my unexpected fall to sleep or temporary unconsciousness.

Tears are the blood of the soul. When it's hurt, it bleeds in tears.

Crying... One misconception of people is that when one cries, that one is in grief. That's what I thought too but just one night a few years ago, I found myself crying before falling asleep again and it wasn't due to sadness or grief or anything like that. That time I was angry. Mad. Furious. A grudge against this unfair world I'm standing on. So great is that grudge that my chest couldn't contain it anymore. It gradually grew bigger and bigger the more I tried to sleep until it was already contricting my entire body. I had to provide space for its density that I had to let the tears out to make room. And surprisingly, it did feel a bit loose and relieving... I cried because of anger. that's when I realized that I wasn't crying for grief but for anger instead.

So maybe the correct definition of cry is an overdose in emotion. We cry when we're too sad, depressed, worried, anxious, scared, and even excited or happy. But why I don't get is that everytime we cry, it's almost always because of grief. Rare is a moment when we cry due to joy or happiness or gratefulness. Why is the world so full of pain anyway? If not the world then why are we so full of pain?