Metallic

"Yeah, we've been together for three years and he turned out to be bullshit after all."
-My friend Jette regarding her ex-boyfriend

Until now I still can't seem to vaporize this antipathy towards Sonny a.k.a. my fucked up ex-boyfriend. So much I hate him that It makes me wanna kill him TWICE. If you wanna know how to kill someone twice then allow me to elaborate. First I'm gonna kill him reeeeaaaal good. And if ever I'm still craving for more, I'm gonna go straight after him in hell and kill him again. And that my good friend, is killing someone TWICE! Damn it. If only I was the devil's mistress then I could have reserved him the deepest and most infernal pit in hell there is.

Without that bastard in my life, I feel a strange new freedom. No more overprotective duff demanding my schedule and location, no more consistent oathbreaker who always promises he'll come visit me when he eventually won't (Damn him! He never visited me fir two months!), no more pathetic and senseless arguments from him and most of all, no more heartbreaks and headaches to further distract me to the abyss of academic failure!

For now I don't wanna have a boyfriend yet. I don't want another chunk of shit in my toilet bowl to further mess my life up. The day Sonny and I broke up, it hurt... It feels as if a knife with jagged edges is driving itself slowly and deeply into my heart and it recoils as it bleeds. Swiftly the following day, it metallizes, deflecting the knife away. A metallic heart. Such apathy and impassiveness yet a rampart metallic heart that can stand on its own without external assistance. That's what I've become of...