Cherry Tree

I won't fall in love anymore
I swear this will be my last heartbreak
Even if a cherry tree is shaken by the wind
The flowers on it will still bloom

To fall in love with you is to sacrifice everything
My wish is that this be the last heartbreak
Even if a cherry tree is shaken through time
The flowers on it will still bloom
-Utada Hikaru, Sakura Drops

But I did fall in love again. And I've done so after recovering from my first and final heartbreak. I was listening to Sakura Drops by Utada Hikaru (now Iwashita Hikaru). It's been almost four long years since I bought her third album Deep River. I learned of her from Kingdom Hearts and she's my favorite Japanese individual. She's musically talented. She sings, she dances, she writes lyrics, she composes. And most of all she's bilingual; fluent in both Japanese and English.

Enough about Hikki. I remember reading Arice's blog and she said that the true opposite of love is not hate but indifference. For a long time I never believed it until now. I was so immature then that I believed that hate is the most powerful way of having someone be gone from your life. How wrong I was.

One day Raph and I were talking about rivalry and hate. He explained to me that having a rival can serve as a positivity since you have a measuring stick of your skills and he can be your source of drive. But there are more negativities in having a rival. First of all if he triumphs, it's a hellacious blow to you. You have to know what he's up to and how he's improving. Yet there's one more thing that's much worse. He has meaning to your life.

It was a shock. Then I had an epiphany after listening to Saydie. Their songs revolve mostly around hate. That only means that the people they hate have meaning to their lives. If you hate a person, why even write and sing a song for him? Why waste time and a sense of art in expressing hate? He greatly angers you by the mere mention of his name. He truly has meaning to your life.

Then I've learned not to hate. Yoda once said that we must unlearn what we have learned. We must unlearn to hate. I'm glad I've finally unlearned to hate my ex-boyfriend. This signifies that I'm now indifferent to him and he no longer has meaning to my life.

I'm also beginning to unhate those on my deathlist. Aeris Gainsborough, Britney Spears, Hillary Duff, Hale, Cueshe, everything.

And for those who have hated me, I would like to say thank you to all of you. Thank you for letting me have meaning to your lives. You don't know I've realized how touched I am.

Arice also told me that the best remedy for love is love. It did say the "best" and not the "only" rememdy. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, it was devastating. Then a week later I've reached full recovery thanks to my friends. I recovered without seeking the remedy called "Love".

Then my Zhou Xun and I met. Contrary to Utada's song, I did fall in love again. And this time I'm much happier than before. The way she expressed it is so poetic and beautiful.

Even if a cherry tree is shaken by the wind
The flowers on it will still bloom

I love you my Zhou Xun.

You Are An Invisible Ex

You're so over your ex, you hardly even remember you have an ex You prefer leave all of the baggage behind you - far, far behind As they say, indifference is the opposite of love!

What Type of Ex Are You?